Big 5
by DarklingShift
Summary: A hilariously funny of the Cullen family at a sports store ... ON PRANK DAY. Bella is completely against it but things don't exactly go as planned ...


The Cullens in Big 5

Disclaimer: i do not own anything. All belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

"Hey Bella, wanna have some fun?" Emmett said, grinning.

I hesitated. In the Cullen's house, fun meant trouble. Trouble meant potentially dangerous. Not dangerous to the mischievous vampires, but certainly to the helpless humans around them. And I was one of the helpless humans. But then, what was the harm? Edward would make sure I wouldn't get hurt, right?

"Sure. Um … what exactly will we be doing?"

"Going to Big 5. You know, the sports store."

I raised an eyebrow. A sports store? What was fun there? And why would anyone, especially vampires? On the other hand, what harm could it do? I nodded. Edward took a hold around my waist and whispered in my ear.

"Bella, do you really want to go? It's a bit rowdy."

I knew rowdy in the Cullen house. Crazy was more like it. I looked up at Edward. His eyes were filled with mischief and excitement. I knew I was up for something slightly dangerous, but as long as I have Edward, I'll be alright.

"Let's go!!" I said, trying to be as enthusiastic as the rest of the people that gathered around me.

Edward smiled his crooked smile. We climbed into the car and were off to Big 5.

Big 5 was pretty small. We walked inside, and the Cullens went to work. They sped off in different directions, spreading throughout the store.

"Get ready to prank, Bella. Mess anything up. We don't care, just do it!"

I stood shocked. No one had told me that today was a prank day, not just a day of fun! I was mortified. This could not be happening. Vampires do not prank. I frowned. Emmett laughed and sped off with the rest. Edward kissed me good luck. "Good luck. You'll need it." He ran over to the weight area.

**Edward's POV**

"Can I have some help? I need something really heavy, something that can really challenges." I looked back at Bella winked. She was frozen. Bella wasn't much good at pranks, I had recently found out. Usually_she_ was the one getting hurt. I made sure that I kept an eye on her. The employees immediately brought me a 90 lb. weight. I lifted it with ease. The employees looked at me with surprise.

_Hmmm. An actual weight lifter. _

"Anything heavier?"

A 100 lb. weight was brought. My vampire strength allowed him to lift the weight as if it was a feather. The employees immediately brought a 150 lb. weight. Then a 200 lb. weight. Then a 250 lb. weight. And then …

**Alice**

"Tennis, anyone?" I said with a gleam in my eye. I walked over to a shelf of tennis rackets. From what I could tell, this prank day was going to go GREAT! Rosalie picked up a purple racket, I picked a pink one. Popping open a pack of tennis balls, we started hitting them against the walls.

"I mean, we can't buy anything without trying it out first, right?" Rosalie giggled innocently as she started making tennis ball-sized holes in the wall. _Bounce. Bounce. Bounce. __**Crack.**_

"Whoops." I grinned to see a hole right through the cheap drywall out into the open alley.

"20 points to get it through the hole!" I shouted, hitting harder.

_Bounce. Bounce. Bounce._

**Jasper**

I ran around with a baseball bat I had grabbed from the wall. I had pumped up everyone's playful side and we were running a riot. _Bonk_. Employee #1 got hit bull's-eye. I grinned. I could feel his confusion. _Bonk_. Employee #2. This was fun.

"Hey you! Stop right now! Give me that bat! Hey! **Hey!**"

I grinned again. Tossing the bat to the Employee, I jumped into a dune buggy and revved it up. I started driving circled around the startled herd of workers, singing "You can't catch me, you can't catch me."

I could feel the head employee's anger. By all means, he should have been dark prune purple by now. Using my excellent reflexes, I drove around the store, avoiding all the employees, but letting them come just close enough to get their hopes up.

"You can't catch me, you can't catch me, you can't catch me…"

**Bella**

I still stood where I entered. I knew that I was going to hurt someone (most likely myself) and I was a horrible prankster. I didn't really enjoy doing pranks, and I was shocked at how readily the Cullens jumped into action. Even Edward seemed to be having fun.

"Excuse me miss, but are you with them?" a rough voice growled angrily. I whirled around to face the manager of the store.

"I'm so sorry, sir. I don't know what happened."

His eyebrows furrowed and his face turned the color of grapes. I had a lot of explaining to do.

**Emmett**

I loved prank days. Causing chaos, pulverizing places, ruining days with riots. I grinned, then swung the golf club back as I sensed a worker running up behind me. _Conk!_ Down goes worker #1. I swung harder, whirling up to bash a light fixture.

"Stop! We can sue you! You'll pay for that sir!"

I grinned harder. Dropping the golf club, I ran out of sight. I sat down in one of the weight-lifting chairs and started working out.

"Excuse me, but you can't actually work out here."

"Dude! I'm working my abs! Don't bother me!"

"This is not a 24 fitness store. Unless you plan to buy it, you can't work on it."

"Dude!"

Time to annoy them to death. This will be fun.

**Edward**

_This is one tough customer. Jeez. _

"Something heavier?" We were already to the 1000 lb. weights. The rest of the weights were tossed into a pile next to me. I tried the 1000 lb. weight and tossed it aside, being careful to scare one of the employees, but not hurt them. I glanced up at Bella again. Apologizing to the manager, she was trying to let him not sue us. I grinned. We got sued all the time! This was nothing.

_This is getting really annoying._ One of the employees eyed me with distaste.

Two workers staggered in with a 2000 lb. weight. I lifted it with one hand.

"Show off." Bella muttered, staring intently at me. Her lips were pursed into a grimace and she went back to arguing with the manager.

**Rosalie**

We managed to get every ball through the hole. An employee tapped me on the shoulder. Alice glanced over at me, then her smile grew.

"Stop that. You smashed a hole through the wall! You cannot use the equipment unless you are actually going to buy it."

We both sighed and walked over to the swimsuit collection. Alice and I looked at each other. We both grabbed bikinis. Time for a pool party!

**Jasper**

"Reach, reach, reach for the sky!" I crowed, swinging in my tent as the employees jumped to grab me. Opening the up-side-down zipper door, I teased them. I leaned out of the hanging tent and dangled my feet just out of reach.

"Catch me if you can, catch me if you can!"

Carlisle is not going to like this.

**Emmett**

Driving around in the dune buggy that Jasper had abandoned for an up-side-down tent, I saw Jasper swinging three inches from the employees' heads, leaning out from the red-and-blue tent.

"Yo, Jas! Jump in!" I yelled, swerving to drive right under him. He leapt into the seat next to me and stuck his tongue out to the furious workers. I dropped a couple golf balls and grabbed two clubs. I drove back to the ball and swung. _Wham!_ I hit the manager in the head with a ball! Yessssssss! A few seconds later, Jasper did the same. Bella jumped back, startled as we drove past her.

"Booorrrn, to be wiiiilllldddd!" Jasper and I screamed as we nearly flattened two employees. We should do this more often.

**Alice**

From my premonitions, we were so getting sued. But hey, when you've got the money, you can do whatever you like.

Rosalie and I had filled a kiddie pool with water from the bathroom sink. Rosalie jumped in.

"Wheeeee!" Water splashed everywhere, soaking the sports outfits.

"Pool Party!" I jumped in with her.

Rosalie giggled. "We can't buy without trying!"

I watched Emmett. They were going right for the paintball guns.

"Duck and cover!"

**Jasper**

I grabbed a paintball gun. So did Emmett. We leapt out of the buggy splattered paint everywhere. Rosalie and Alice were hiding underneath their kiddie pool. I saw the manager. Bella looked daggers at me, warning me not to do what I was about to do. I smirked at her, training my gun to the manager's back. Within seconds the manager's back was covered in green paint. He whirled around to glare at me. Then suddenly, Bella exploded.

**Bella**

All the anger and shock burst in me at that moment. I was going to be grounded for life because of them, and ever be able to see Edward again. They were here, destroying the sports store, having their fun and playing pranks with these poor employees. I was **mad**.

"**HOW DARE YOU??** YOU ALL ARE GOING TO GET ME GROUNDED ALL BECAUSEYOU WANT TO HAVE FUN! I WILL NOT LET YOU GET ME IN TROUBLE. YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE ANY PART IN THIS BLOODY PRANK DAY! I WILL NOT HAVE ANY PART IN ANYTHING!"

I stared angrily at everyone, meeting everyone, even Edward, with the fiercest glare I could muster up. And I whirled around to leave …

**Edward**

Bella met my eye with a glare that froze me in place. I was shocked. My gentle, angel-like, beautiful Bella, was capable of a hurricane of anger. She was the angriest that I had ever seen her. As I stared deep into her eyes I felt as if I was staring down into the fiery pits of Hades, but instead of hate in those beautiful brown eyes, I saw disappointment. As she whirled around, I spotted the place that, because of her clumsiness, would be her downfall …

**Alice**

Bella was one fierce fighter! She will make one fighter for the Cullen Clan! But even as she made her angry protest, I saw what was to come. It was true, it would be hilarious, but she was my to-be sister, and I was obliged to save Bella from the humiliation of breaking her own point. I opened my mouth to shout out, "Bella, no!" but I choked on the words. Oh well, at least this will be funny.

**Jasper**

I felt Bella's anger and disappointment roll off her in tsunami-sized waves, enveloping me. I could understand why. She was furious – livid – enough to strangle all of us on the spot. But Bella would never do that. She turned heel to walk away in dignity … unfortunately, things did not go as planned.

**Bella**

I felt my foot catch on the edge of a shelf, and I saw the carpeted ground rush up toward me. _Thank goodness it's carpeted. It won't hurt much._ I put out my hands to catch my fall. But even as I looked up at the shelf, I saw it teeter on edge. It fell, knocking over the shelf of swim goggles with it. After that, I was a chain reaction. A shelf of tennis balls was knocked over in the midst of it all, and they bounced everywhere, bright yellow reminders of my humiliation. As the last rack of baseball bats toppled, its edge caught a banner that hung above it. The banner fell, taking a display case of sports shoes along with it. The shoes fell to pelt a shelf of skateboards. The boards tipped and rolled, bashing a case of paintball guns and dashing it to the floor. Sports magazines were crumpled in between shelves, even the register was tipped over. The register tipped over the kiddie pool that Alice and Rosalie were in, and poured water all over the place. Finally, the chain reaction was over. There was not a sound uttered – the only thing you could hear was the bouncing of tennis balls and the falls of things that were just sliding off. My face must have been vampire white then – I had killed an entire store with one clumsy move.

Edward was by my side, careful to walk in normal speed.

"Bella, honey, are you all right? Were you hurt?"

I choked on my shock. I was the one who had done the most damage –_after_ I had made a point to say that I detested hurting and was going to leave and never do anything to hurt anybody. I felt the blood rising to my cheeks, painting my face with what must have been a whole new shade of brilliant crimson.

Emmett came over to me and slapped my upraised hand in a high-five, the hand that was still reaching for help.

"I love this girl! She's got killer instincts."

I felt the heat on my cheeks grow. I buried my fact in my hands.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god." I felt the tears drop from the corners of my eyes, sliding town past my hands onto my neck.

Edward raised me up with one ice-cold hand and removed my hands from my face. His honey-velvet voice soothed my aches and withered away my sorrows.

"Nothing was your fault. It was a mistake, an accident." He brushed his marble lips to my soft ones. The ends of my mouth curled up into a slight smile. I gazed up at Edward with hopeful eyes.

"A very hilarious accident, anyhow." He grinned down at me as he said this, causing me once again to flush and grimace.

Jasper came close and reached out to cup my hand, comforting me with his calm. I felt reassurance in me as he took away my embarrassment. I looked up at him. Even though I felt much better, it sickened me that he too was shaking in silent laughter.

Alice looked up at me, her eyes dancing. "It was really funny, Bella. I only saw it a few seconds before, so I could have never warned you." I tried to glare at Alice but failed, so I settled for a sad sigh.

Rosalie looked at me briefly with amusement, then gave me a thumbs-up. I grinned weakly.

I suddenly remember the manager. As I turned to him, I saw that his face was now the color of a dying sun – bright maroon red. He was covered in green and blue paint and was shaking in anger.

"G-E-T O-U-T N-O-W." he said through his teeth, speaking slowly and distinctly. I ducked my head in embarrassment and rushed out, while the Cullens walked nonchalantly out the door. As we piled into Edward's Volvo, Emmett chuckled.

"This girl's got perfect timing. She's comedy on legs."

I flushed, and climbed in along with the rest of them. Just my luck. Edward comforted me with a hug, and I nestled my face into his marble chest. Now I was going to have to pay the store _and _get grounded for life. I was going to die.

Edward was now looking down at me with a puzzled air. He sighed, and started to speak with a frown.

"I am always easily frustrated. What are you thinking?"

"I'm going to be grounded for life and my allowance is going to be taken away for 20 years to pay back the store." I answered truthfully, looking sadly up at him. This was probably the last time I was going to see his face for a long time.

"Aw, you'll be all right. No body could be mad at you – you're too cute and clumsy." Emmett said, smiling sympathetically.

I frowned and did my best to glare, but I blushed when he mentioned the clumsiness and ruined my act.

"Don't worry, Bella. Charlie won't ground you, or even be mad. He won't know."

I stared hopefully at Alice for a moment, then sighed again.

"I have to pay the store though. I'll never be able to do that without Charlie noticing." My heart sunk again.

"You won't pay the store."

"I have to! Now Charlie will kill me!" My hysteria made my voice rise higher and higher.

Alice laughed. "Like I said, Charlie won't know."

I started. Won't know? Of course he'll know. I just knocked over a whole store for heaven's sake! I felt my eyes start to fill with tears.

"He won't know because we won't tell him."

My expression must have been shocked, because I heard Emmett chuckling. Edward looked down at my surprised face and gently touched his lips to mine. My heart raced as I felt his cold lips on mine. Emmett groaned.

"Hey you two get a room!"

Edward pulled back and stared defiantly back at him, but grasped the wheel and started driving back to their house. Alice took my hand and grasped it comfortingly.

"We'll pay for the accident. Don't you worry."

"Pay for the damages? You can't do that! You spend too much money on me already! Why, clothes, shoes for the prom, and now paying for the damages that I did? You can't do that!"

Edward looked at me steadily and surely. "We will, and there's nothing you can do to stop it."

I sighed and gave into Edward's topaz eyes. He grinned and we arrived at the house. Alice looked at the door and her eyes widened.

"Uh oh."

At that very moment, Esme threw open the door and barreled out.

"What did you do now!! I know you did something because Emmett's covered in paintballs and Bella's flushing red." I blushed even more.

"Esme, before you get angry-"

"Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, don't you start on me. I'm going to be angry and you're not going to stop me."

Edward fell silent and stood back, rocking on his heels. I was astonished. Edward, the most infallible Edward, has been silenced!

"Sorry, mum. It was just fun." Emmett grinned as he said this, looking like a foolish and mischievous child that was just caught in the act of throwing catch in the house. Esme's eyes softened, then she smiled a forgiving smile.

"All right. But we go through this every time! You keep doing this. What did you do this time? And why is there a bruise on Bella's knee?"

I was suddenly aware that my knee was throbbing, and was purple and red. I must have hit it when I fell.

"Esme, it's okay. We went to Big 5. It was just a prank. And Bella did the biggest prank of all! Come on, Esme, just lighten up." Jasper sent a wave of calm over all of us, and Esme smiled.

"Simply a prank. How much is the lawsuit? What will we pay?"

I turned to look at all of them.

"How many times have you done this before? You act as if it was nothing! How much money have you spent on this?"

They all chuckled, amused at my outburst.

"Bella, when you have an eternity of boredom, you need something to have fun with." Edward turned to Esme. "Esme, the manager's thinking to sue for about 15,000. Not much."

I gawked at Edward. 15,000, not much? These vampires were mad. Insane. Crazy.

Esme sighed and we went in.

"See, Bella. That was okay. Nothing to worry about."

Edward reached out to stroke my face with his icy-cold marble hands. I felt the electric shock in his fingertips, and smiled. At least I wasn't going to be grounded today.


End file.
